If you woke up and found yourself in charge of a football club, what would you change?
Humour me for a moment, if you will.
Imagine your numbers came up in a quadruple EuroMillions rollover or you stumbled across the cure for male pattern baldness and you suddenly found yourself swimming in a pool of cash so huge it would make Scrooge McDuck green with envy.
If you ever dreamed of taking over your football club and taking them to the promised land, you would have your chance.
You would be the person with the power to change whatever you wanted and - apart from the simplest of tweaks such as infrastructure, strengthening the playing squad et al - would there actually be anything you’d desire to scrap or reboot?
I ask because of two things which jumped out at me like a two-footed tackle this week.
The first came while watching the Class of ‘92 documentary about billionnaire Peter Lim and ex-Manchester United stars Gary Neville, Nicky Butt, Phil Neville, Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes’ running of Salford City.
Of course, there was the usual talk of a 20,000 seater stadium and a future in the Championship (the irony that they pipped Darlington to last season’s Northern Premier League Division One title was not lost on me) which many non-league fans hear blurted out by new cash-happy and self-congratulatory owners on a regular basis.
But what really shocked me was the speed with which Salford’s new bosses recreated the club’s identity, replacing the historic orange shirts with red ones more akin to Manchester United’s, sticking a new modern badge on the front for good measure too.
The second moment which took me aback was reading comments from the board of National League South Whitehawk, frustrated that their plans to change the club’s name to Brighton & Hove City had been slapped down, something they believed would aid the club’s identity and bring in more fans (even if it is way cooler to sound like a rock band).
Of course, when such things as new club colours or attempts to switch names happen at bigger clubs like Cardiff City or Hull City, owners are demonised, press coverage is huge and plentiful fanbases are able to make themselves heard.
But in little old non-league it seems that history and, indeed, the hopes of fans, are allowed to be compromised if it means there is chance of reaching the big time.
I’ll be honest, there’s something I’d love to change at Boston United - the nickname.
The Pilgrims were a bunch of people from Gainsborough and Retford (just think about that) who spent a day or two imprisoned in the town as they sought an escape to Amsterdam.
Surely, the Puritans - people who actually came from the town and settled in the United States in the area of New England which now has the name Boston - would be a more suitable legacy to celebrate?
But you know what, even if I did find a cure for male pattern baldness and buying a football club was the second thing on my to do list (you know the first), I still wouldn’t allow myself to tinker. The reason is because any football club already has its own identity, and an army of fans which identifty with those crests, colours and names.
Just because I have my preferences doesn’t mean I’m right, or I have the right to change what others love.
If you really want to aid a community, invest in aspects of the club which aid the area as a whole, not just your insatiable appetite to win, win and flipping win.
A one-man club would be a very lonely place, whether you’re in a 20,000 capacity stadium or not.